I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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