Apparently you make a good broom.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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