Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
