Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
