Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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