I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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