That's when you crack a 10am beer
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
