She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize