Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
