morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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