I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize