i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
