Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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