she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
