I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
