i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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