Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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