I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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