WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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