You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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