Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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