If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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