she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
