At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
