I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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