i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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