I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
