Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize