Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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