He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
