I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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