nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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