I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
