I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Shame - the story of my life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
