i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
