I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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