Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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