I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
