I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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