whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
