I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Damn victory sex feels great
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
