that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
