Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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