these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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