I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
