the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
