is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
