So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
