The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
