We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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