I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
