I love black thongs
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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