So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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