its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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