this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
