You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
