did you get engaged???
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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