I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
