is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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