I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
