It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
